"Michigan will now start a particularly agile walk-on office cabinet at corner, sport walk-ons at safety, and will have to rely on Greg Robinson to coach his ass off under pressure to stand a chance on defense this year. Please reread the last bit of that long sentence. If you have Michigan friends considering suicide—and we all do—do not let them read it. If they already have, begin throwing pillows out the window in hope of cushioning their fall from the roof."